my small (but significant) contribution to a better world

one of the annoying things about being an adult is that you’re supposed to know stuff, but nobody ever teaches it to you.

 

last sunday, someone crashed into the back of my car. no big deal – no-one hurt and these things can happen to anyone. the problem is now having to try and deal with it.

 

I rang the insurance company and asked them what to do now. they said a whole bunch of insurance-sounding words like “claim” and “excess” and “premium”, when I really just wanted them to say "your car will be fixed and it won't cost you anything and no-one will think badly of you for having an accident".

I asked them if I would have to pay more on my policy in the future because of the crash. they said that was up to the insurers. I said I thought they were the insurers. it turned out they were another company where you make the claim. I said I thought the insurers were the company where you made the claim. they said, no, that was the underwriters. I said I didn't need to know all this and could they stop saying difficult words and just tell me what to do.

 

they gave me a car repair shop to call. I called the repair man and said could I please have my car fixed. but he said words like “quote” and “assess”. it turns out the car has to go for 3 visits before it can be repaired.

 

it seems to me like almost every adult knows how to do all these things but a tiny few, like me, and allie brosh at hyperboleandahalf, struggle. the following proposal would fix this once and for all.

 

I think there should be a subject at school called “how the world works” and they should teach you things like how to pump up your car tires to the right pumpiness by reading that little dial thingy. and how to put in petrol without it squirting out all over your leg. and a basic summary of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. 

then you could be a proper adult with confidence. instead of always pretending to be one and just waiting for someone to catch you out.