important issues of our time: cold rolls vs marriage

last weekend I had breakfast with a friend whose brain seems to think more like mine that almost anyone else I know. we used to think this was a great thing and planned to marry (although we are both attracted to men and neither of us is a man) but have since realised that this would be THE WORST IDEA IN THE WORLD. 2x overthinkers in one relationship most likely does not equal 1x excellentness.

here is an example of my friend’s overthinking. in what shall henceforth be known as The Cabbage Incident, the making of Vietnamese cold rolls did not go down as well as planned.

a lover of the cold roll, my friend had been super excited to make them for her man who had never tried them before. she prepared the prawns, Chinese cabbage, rice paper and all the other ingredients, and waited for the expected delighted response. instead the response was more along the lines of indifference, verging on dislike of the cabbage in particular. like a piece of rice paper left in warm water for too long, my friend felt her hopes and dreams disintegrate.

my friend and her partner are planning to marry (now that I am off the scene) and they are very much in love. however, she wonders if she can marry a man who is not as enamoured with cold rolls as she is.

I completely understand. In my semi-vegetarian phase, I lovingly made my favourite lentil shepherd’s pie for the boyfriend at the time. he was “full” after two mouthfuls.

over breakfast, we discussed The Cabbage Incident and came to the following conclusions:

1. while it is certainly disappointing that a love of cold rolls cannot be shared, it is probably not high on the lists of reasons not to marry.

2. one should not give up one's own love of cabbage and cold rolls just to please the other.

3. there may be other friends with whom one could enjoy the delight of cold rolls and cabbage, and one must maintain this contact so as not to lose one’s sense of self.

having come to these conclusions, we still felt however that it would be completely warranted not to marry a man who did not like blue castello cheese with a glass of red.