it may not come as a surprise to you, dear reader, that, from time to time, I exhibit slight tendencies towards worrying and being somewhat anxious. this means that I am wont to doubt myself in many situations, think a little too much about most things, and agonize over the smallest of mistakes.
however, at the moment I am feeling good.
I have some projects at work which I seem to be doing quite well. it seems I am Moderately Capable at a number of tasks. I would almost go so far as to say I am feeling close to Competent. while working on a report today, I suddenly became conscious of the fact that I was feeling quite pleased with what I had done. I realised that I hadn’t doubted my abilities or felt that I was doomed to failure or been on the verge of meltdown for well over 90 minutes.
this worried me.
I am used to feeling unsure and unconfident, and although usually unsure, one thing I am sure of is my place in the world as being someone who is unsure. 'what’s to become of me', I thought anxiously, 'if I start to feel no anxiety?'
fortunately, my apprehension about feeling composed and my uneasiness about my sureness have made me feel much better. should I ever become content with my contentness or confident about my confidence, then I’ll definitely be worried.
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