once I got all hot and sweaty, pulled my jumper off over my head, and my hair stuck straight up from the sweatiness.
once I invited a boy upstairs for a cup of tea and put couscous in his tea instead of sugar and it expanded and took over half the cup and he drank it without saying anything.
once I got all excited about something and accidentally did a spit while I was talking and it landed on the boy’s nose.
in addition, the following happen with regularity:
- food falling off fork and hitting plate with loud, wet sound
- clinking glass against oversized front teeth
- hitting fork against oversized front teeth
- lemon – or cherry tomato - squirting into date’s eye
- peas shooting off plate and landing in date’s lap
- cutlery falling on floor
- self falling on floor
- sounds like 'uregth' and 'lort' coming out of mouth because real words cannot be formed due to nervousness
in a movie, this would be endearing. in real life, it’s not.
however, a couple of weeks ago, I was trumped by the boy I went out with.
a couple of hours into the evening, I asked him how old he was and he said 47. I said I was quite surprised because he looks like late 30s. I told him I was 34 and he said he was quite surprised because I look like 38-40.
I don't feel so bad about 'lort' anymore.
Very amusing Jen.
ReplyDeleteI think that together we could write a very readable book filled with dating anecdotes.
You would think that by the age of 47 he would have figured out that it's not good to tell a lady that she looks older than she is (which, by the way, you do not).
ReplyDeletePerhaps you can try this dating strategy, although he claims he wasn't after a relationship, and it didn't work on me: as I was riding home one evening, a guy on a bike riding in the opposite direction called out to me from the off-road bicycle lane (so, on the same side of the road as me). I thought he wanted directions or something, so I stopped. Before he made his way to me he did a kind of fist pump whilst saying "Yessss", which I thought was a bit weird but then thought maybe he'd been trying a while to get someone's attention to ask directions.
He stuck his (left) hand out to introduce himself, although didn't say his name, just 'Pleased to meet you.' Furthermore, his 'handshake' was like a dead fish, no movement.
Then he proceeded to talk at a mile a minute so I could hardly understand him. What I did catch: I'm really nervous on the inside I might not look it on the outside but I'm really scared to stop here and talk to you I must have a loud voice and you must have good ears to have heard me call out I am not interested in a missus I just want to be friends are you interested in going out with me for a drink or a meal or even a bike ride somewhere unless you have a crazy Osama boyfriend I'm not interested in a relationship i don't want a girlfriend I just want to give something back to the ladies I'm a nice guy I will be heartbroken and upset if you don't want to I get rejected so often... repeat repeat.
I told him I'm really busy, have a hard enough time catching up with the friends I already have and am going away in a week for a month. He asked if I wanted to catch up when I get back. I said no. He said doesn't he deserve a little cuddle then. I said no.